I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You can't special order awesome
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize