But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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