K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
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We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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