I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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