wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
