I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Randomize
