so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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