I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize