Where is the hickey?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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