Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
did you just send me my own nude
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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