She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
