just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Hippo gnu deer
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
