I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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