then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
