He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
