I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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