Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
