Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
