I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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