STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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