Can i not drive my cunt home
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
