Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
