is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
