Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize