i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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