We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
