when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
