Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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