she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
