But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
