Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The Olympian is in my bed
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