i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
