I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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