ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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