twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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