Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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