make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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