Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
