PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize