is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
