I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
