ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize