The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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