OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
