Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize