Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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