when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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