I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
