Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm just crazy horny about you
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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