i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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