We should be called the Road Head Warriors
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
