Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
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No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
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You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize