.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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