happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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