this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
