So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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