Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I skipped work to stalk him.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
