yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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